


Jack Spicer Edition (Three Day’s Grace & Hollywood Undead)

by Ashasmewmew



Series: Music Explains My Emotions [2]
Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Hollywood Undead - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, Song: Bullet (Hollywood Undead), Song: The Mountain (Three Days Grace), Suicidal Thoughts, Three Days Grace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashasmewmew/pseuds/Ashasmewmew
Summary: Jack Spicer is sad. Depressed. But no one sees it. Jack keeps it to himself. Not one person knows how close to the edge he is. He’s climbing a mountain every day to feel normal. All they know, is that they’ll see him at the next showdown.He’s just singing his heart out, but when will he stop?
Series: Music Explains My Emotions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817740
Kudos: 9





	1. Jack Spicer - The Mountain by Three Days Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I suck at this. But there are trigger warnings on the second chapter.

Jake Spicer was not having a good day. Or a good week for that matter. It honestly could even add up to a bad month or even year overall if you compare the pros and cons of Jack’s life.

He always has the persona of a cocky personality, but deep down he knows it’s to compensate for his insecurities. Some days it’s harder than others to ignore them. He stares at the items on his desk. In the background, played a song he feels at his soul.

**Every day I’m just surviving  
Keep climbing the mountain  
Even when I feel like dying  
Keep climbing the mountain **

Everyday is a struggle for Jack. He’s always climbing to met expectations.

**Another night I’m barely holding on  
One step away from being dead and gone  
Am I alive to die another day?  
Is this life that I’ve been living?  
All that’s meant for me?**

Memories from showdowns roll through Jacks head.  
“You insolent worm!” Chase Young says to him after Jack accidentally lost the shen gong wu the Heylin side needed. Chase Young is Jacks idol, but he can never do anything right for the immortal.

“Jack’s such a loser,” Raimundo says after Jack ends up feet over his head at the end of another lost Xiaolin Showdown. 

“Jack can’t do anything right,” said Katnappe to the rest of the laughing Heylin. People he considered his friends.

**Every day I’m just surviving  
Keep climbing the mountain  
Even when I feel like dying  
Keep climbing the mountain   
Every time I think I’m over it  
I wake up in the bottom of it all again  
I’m still surviving  
Keep climbing, keep climbing  
The mountain**

Jacks always been scrambling from the bottom. Looking for something he’s been missing his whole life. It all feels the same. When everyone hurts him, for losing, or when he wins. Nothing feels right.

**The higher I go the harder I fall  
So I don’t look down I don’t look back at all  
And when I wish it all would turn to black  
I try to see the light and punch the darkness back**

Not necessarily dark and light per say, but the feeling of black. The feeling of nothing. What feeling is Jack looking for?

**Every day I’m just surviving  
Keep climbing the mountain  
Even when I feel like dying  
Keep climbing the mountain   
Every time I think I’m over it  
I wake up in the bottom of it all again  
I’m still surviving  
Keep climbing, keep climbing  
The mountain**

**So if I’m not already too far gone  
And if I feels pulsing, I keep carry on  
When I’m lost and want to fade away  
I tell myself to die another day**

Every day seems so hard for Jack. The only thing that keeps him going, is that everything will be okay once he rules the world. Jack can hold out till that day. Even if he does already feel too far gone.

**Every day I’m just surviving  
Keep climbing the mountain  
Even when I feel like dying  
Keep climbing the mountain   
Every time I think I’m over it  
I wake up in the bottom of it all again  
I’m still alive then  
Keep climbing, keep climbing  
The mountain  
The mountain**

Jack looks at how far he has to go. Is it worth it? He doesn’t know.


	2. Jack Spicer - Bullet by Hollywood Undead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings!!  
> Cutting  
> Shooting  
> Self harm  
> Alcohol  
> Suicidal thoughts
> 
> Read at your own risk.

Jack Spicer is drunk, beyond drunk. Jack’s at the edge of everything.

**My legs are dangling off the edge  
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend  
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone  
My legs are dangling off the edge  
A stomach full of pills didn't work again  
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone**

No one knew he was too far gone. Even Wuya never saw any of Jack’s suicidal tendencies. There is a reason he always wears his attire. The white lines that lay on his skin.

**Gone to far and yeah I’m gone again  
It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends  
I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends  
Ones a bottle of pills, ones a bottle of Gin**

Or in this case rum. Gin wasn’t available.

**I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top  
I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off  
Asphalt to me has never looked so soft  
I bet my momma found my letter, now shes calling the cops  
I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it  
'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance  
Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent  
'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is  
I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife  
But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice  
I never bought a suit before in my life  
But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice**

Not that Jack bought this suit. It was one his Mom bought him. The cuff was stained with blood, some fresh, some not. His white lines weren’t little. Jack also had all the time in the world. Who cared about Jack Spicer to come check on him?

**So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow  
Yeah I'll see you tomorrow**

If Jack turned chicken yet again, he’ll see everyone at the next showdown. No one will know a damn thing.

**My legs are dangling off the edge  
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend  
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone  
My legs are dangling off the edge  
A stomach full of pills didn't work again  
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone**

Numbness feels like a good idea. Jack has plenty of ideas.

**We hit the sky, there goes the light  
No more sun, why's it always night  
When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream  
When you can't dream, well, whats life mean?  
We feel a little pity, but don't empathize  
The old are getting older, watch a young man die**

Chase Young for example? Watching as Heylin grow old and die fighting the Xiaolin. Wuya? The evil, ugly bean? Not that any of them will care.

**A Mother and a Son and someone you know  
Smile at each other and realize you don't  
You don't know what happened to that kid you raised  
What happened to the Father, who swore he'd stay?  
I didn't know 'cause you didn't say  
Now Momma feels guilt, yea Momma feels pain**

**When you were young, you never thought you'd die  
Found that you could but too scared to try  
You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye  
Climb to the roof to see if you could fly**

Parentally love? What is that? Jack’s parents were never around, and when they were they wanted something. He is not what they wanted. 

**So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow  
Yeah I'll see you tomorrow**

So once again, if he doesn’t die tonight, he’ll see everyone at the next showdown. No one will know a damn thing about what he almost did again.

**My legs are dangling off the edge  
The bottom of the bottle is my only friend  
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone  
My legs are dangling off the edge  
A stomach full of pills didn't work again  
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone**

All Jack has to do is step off.

**I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky, like a bird so high  
Oh I might just try  
I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky, like a bird so high  
Oh I might just try  
Oh I might just try**


End file.
